Amy Kennedy's Blog, Cupcake

SUNDAY, SUNDAY...OR, ER, WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY

2012-01-23T06:23:00.000-08:00

January, 25

So, I forgot to attach this post to Sunday's linky...I don't know why. So, I'm recycling it for today
Alrighty then.
Weren't we just here? I was.

So, first, I copied Ryan King and changed the colors of my blog -- I do love to redecorate.

Second, not yet settled into this new schedule, so will change my goals.

Third, not only did I change the color of my blog, but today I painted the two doors in our foyer (more coats needed...yay?) and will start the basement this next week and weekend. It's something that I've wanted to do for awhile, and it's being done.

I think this might force me to find time during the day, like that newly forgotten "lunch" I seem to remember.

Things I did:
Wrote 2 new scenes for BETWIXT.
Reading a couple books on mythology and monsters (not part of my goals, but it felt productive)
Started The 90 Day Novel...I try not to read too many craft books -- just stick with my faces -- this one, I don't know, it's pulled me in and made me look at things, so I'm going to try the method. We'll see.

New Goals:
Continue 90 day method, check in with where I am on that.
Continue to brainstorm for Goddess.
That's all folks...How's everyone else doing?

Time to Make the Check-In...

2012-01-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

Wow. Time is moving at an incredible rate -- it do move quickly.

Tuesday was my fist day at new library/new position. After retrieving all the brain matter strewn about, I think it'll be good (a lot to learn). BUT, I now am the proud owner of my very own office, with a door, and a name plate, and everything. Big time.

Ha!

Sunday: checked-in, wrote some new words and had another plot epiphany on BETWIXT. Readied posts for tKw
Monday: Posted on tKw. Had granddaughter all day, but did check in with other ROWers late that evening.
Tuesday: {{{brain fry}}}.
Wednesday: check-in. Very late. Posted tKw article.

Really did not know my brain would be this fried -- and no writing over lunch for a while. Still stepping like a baby, but that's okay.

I need to step back and figure out where I have some wiggle room -- I might be a weekend novelist for awhile!

How are you all doing?

A ROW...ND ABOUT CHECK-IN

2012-01-15T07:57:00.001-08:00

Last week was pretty much a no go on anything. And that's okay, not beating myself up -- just really did not know I would need this much time. Still have other issues as well, and without going into too much information, these, too will take time and energy...and prayers.I'll take my goals one week at a time -- starting the new position at the new library on Tuesday (nervous, excited).NEW GOALS:Today -- post goals. Get posting ready for Those Kennedy WomenMonday -- check in w/ other ROW80 folk. Edit or brainstorm/write, either BETWIXT or GODDESS IN THE MECHANICA.Tuesday -- I'm not scheduling anything -- brain might be reeling from too much new info!Wednesday -- ROW80 check-in and check-in w/othersThursday -- evening writing 7:00--8:00Friday -- Another day off...Saturday -- prepare postings for tKwSunday -- check-inThat's it -- nothing stunning or glorious -- baby steps, right?Just a little aside, if I weren't a part of this ROW80 community, I'm pretty sure I would not be doing anything toward my goals. The writing would stop completely -- which wouldn't be good, because writing can be so therapeutic. So I am very happy to be a part of this. Thanks.How are you all doing?

ROW WITH A SHOT OF LIFE

2012-01-11T10:07:00.000-08:00

Wow. I've been hit. Kind of hard.

A dear, dear friend of the family (my mother's best friend for 60+ years) passed away Sunday afternoon, funeral is tomorrow.
This is my last week at this library, which I've been at for 15 years, plus, it was my library -- took my older kids to Storytime here, before I even worked here.
A big adult child crisis, is hopefully coming to a head today.

I am mourning everything.

Yet, life goes on.
SO:
Monday: did my hour of editing BETWIXT and my hour of brainstorming GODDESS
Tuesday: got an hour of brainstorming in at night on GODDESS

Today, I'm checking in, but I won't be able to get to other ROWers check-ins until much later...sorry.

Thursday: is the funeral, I'm not going to push the writing -- probably re-do my goals now that I'll have a different schedule too.
Hope everyone else is doing just fine.

A Sunday Kind of Check-In

2012-01-07T19:32:00.000-08:00

Very happy with the specificity thing. I've noticed (and I realize it's only the first week) that even if something comes up, I never forget that I owe myself an hour of editing or a blog post. It's like starting work an hour late -- you have to make up that hour somehow.

So...when last we left our ROWer, she'd checked-in on Wednesday and checked-out a bunch of other awesome ROWers. Which was her goal for that day. Oh, and posted at Those Kennedy Women

Thursday: 8:00a.m. edited BETWIXT for over an hour. Extra added bonus of lunch-time check-ins. Brainstormed GODDESS for an hour and a half from 7:30p.m. - 9:00p.m. -- because I knew I couldn't do it Friday morning. And I did get out the BIG wall post-it paper for cool brainstorm mapping.

Friday: Posted my mom's piece at Those Kennedy Women, facebooked and tweeted it. Then, family stuff.

Saturday: Managed to brainstorm GODDESS for about 1/2 hour.

The only thing I didn't get to (well I have a rough draft done-ish) was my non-ROW post on living at the parapsychology study center, Harmony. Maybe, I'm over-thinking it.

On a newsy note, I'll be moving to a new library with a new position (promotion -- yay!), so, I'll have to re-do my goals -- different schedule.

How did everyone else do?

A CHECK-IN, WITH ONLY MINOR ALTERATIONS!

2012-01-04T10:51:00.000-08:00

Already with the recalculations?
Not quite, just some tiny shortcuts.

Forgot husband and child would be home on Monday: this changes everything. It's okay, it's okaaaaay (is what I kept saying to myself).

MONDAY:
8-9:15 did get a solid-ish hour of editing in, with some visiting of other ROWers thrown in for good measure.
9:15-on did not get to my brainstorm...then, so I recalculated and got a good 45 minutes in at work over my lunch.

TUESDAY: 45 minutes of brainstorming/outlining/notecarding over lunch. In the evening after made-up errands (not of my brain) more check-ins with brilliant ROWers.

WEDNESDAY: Today! Checking in, yay! Also wrote a welcome post for Those Kennedy Women Blog -- and the day is definately not over. I still want to check in with fellow Rows.

I'm still going to write a non-row post this blog. I've decided on doing a series of posts about living at a Parapsychology study center -- Kait Nolan gave me the idea, not directly, but she was my inspiration. They'll be my LIVING AT HARMONY posts. We'll see...

All in all, I'm pleased -- especially with the whole specificity aspect. Plus, I love wrting and saying that word: specificity. Brilliant.

How are you guys doing?

She Shoots...She Scores! Goooooaaaaaallll!

2011-12-30T20:37:00.000-08:00

Wishin' and hopin' and dreamin'...are all good things, but I need something concrete and apparently with an end date attached, and schedules maintained and some kind of measurable GOAL.

Yes, it's that time again, the start of a new round of words in 80 days -- ROW80! Click on the pretty ROW80 pic at top of page and you can find out all you want to know about this fabulous group.

It always feels so good to start fresh, cleansed of all my writerly sins, like: sloth and...sloth.
So this round I'm setting my goals a little differently. Stop your snickering, I am.

Working on two (2, count 'em) manuscripts. The first one is a complete -- ahem -- YA paranormal, BETWIXT, that needs a complete re-write. The other, my YA paranormal historical steampunkish...thing, GODDESS IN THE MECHANICA -- this one still needs some brainstorming and outlining and, you know, the writing of the frakish thing. Parts are written, I just need to understand more of it.

Okay.
Sundays Anything goes -- if I get stuff done, it's a bonus.
Mondays 8 a.m. edit BETWIXT for 1 hour.
Mondays 9 a.m. brainstorm/outline GODDESS for 1 hour
Tuesdays Lunch break toss-up: either edit or write
Wednesdays Lunch break catch-up on other ROW80ers
Thursdays 8 a.m. edit BETWIXT for 1 hour
Fridays (every other) 9 a.m. brainstorm/outline GODDESS for 1 hour
Saturdays Anything goes...

Also, weekly:
Ride stationary bike 3x
Write one blog post beside ROW80 posts
Write one blog post for new venture w/ mom and sister: Those Kennedy Women!

I have never been this specific before...let's hope it works for me!
What's gonna work for you this go a round?

FIN.

2011-12-20T14:21:00.000-08:00

Not really, just for this ROW80!

How did I do?
Not really sure, had lots of poofy dogs, lots of life and lots of doubts.

However, I have a new understanding of my WIP and what I need to do, and, more importantly, how to do it.
I also realized how to fix a finished manuscript. Figured out what was missing, like, a plot, motvation and mythology.

I was going to take next round off and then I thought, why? Where would I get my motivation, my pats on the back, or my kick in the arse? Right here dummy. At ROW80.

So, I'll see you next round!

Slackerdom...

2011-12-18T18:20:00.000-08:00

Sung to Silverbells:

Slackerdom….slackerdom, it’s ROW80s push to the last week…bumbumbum. You’re a bum…Such a bum, can’t even write a damn page.
I was going to go on, but I’m slacking and just don’t feel like it…

I just posted this as a comment over at Jenny Hansen's blog More Cowbell and I realized it summed up my feelings, plus I thought it clever...for a slacker.

I have done some things.
I wrote 2 pages of new material for my WIP.
AND started a haphazard outline -- pure slackering.

Yet, I've continued to hold down my full time job and decorate and part-ay. AND Christmas shop. Whoo!

So...how's everyone else doing?

Yikes! A Late Check-in

2011-12-15T11:48:00.000-08:00

Life! Lots of life and hardly any writing -- that's about it for my check-in!

I did get 2 hours of brainstorming
I did not get 2 hours of outlining

I did put on a Holiday party
I did get an interview for a higher position
I have gone to several wrestling meets
And a band concert
And a Holiday get-together

My goals for this next week (and I do mean week, now through next Wed.):

Set in Bite Size Pieces, or Fun Size!

Write one page of outline, just one -- a start
Add one page of new writing to ANYthing
Floss every day.

That's it. That. Is. It.
Sheesh!

Okay, now to check on some ROW80 friends...

CONTEST -- GUESS MY AGE!

2011-12-08T06:14:00.001-08:00

Not my age...my main character's age.
Here's where all the details are and a list of contestants -- check it out.
Brenda Drake's blog
We post the first 250 words of our manuscript -- no title or genre -- get feedback from other contestants and anyone else who'd like to comment. Then make changes and send it back to Brenda's blog by the 10th.

I sort of forgot, okay okay, I completely forgot I was doing this, so, per usual by the seat of my pants I fly in.

So, can you guess -- does it seem right? Etc, etc, etc.

I was almost alone in the attic bedroom,only the sound of Aurora’s eight copper legs skittering in the eaves to keep mecompany. My foster sisters were performing in the production tonight, so theywould not be along for another few hours.

I shifted my feet on the battered andwobbly sewing stool and fitted my distance goggles over my eyes. I didn’t carefor the theatre, I only cared for the corner of the Mississippi River I couldspy from my bedroom window.

A fluttering in my stomach wanted to make its way up to my chest, it wanted to coil there and burst into something new. Movement onthe river caught my attention, but it was only a paddled steam ship. Besides,my sight belonged above the river, where an AirPirate ship would fly. One daysoon, I would see the Airship captained by the pirate who was responsible formy parents’ deaths.

If only I knew what I would do after Ispied the ship. I could blow him up, I could tinker a bomb and blow he and his ship apart. No, I wanted to see his face, and he mine.

Except, I wanted to pull away from the window, why? Wasn’t thatwhere I’d see something exciting? I looked away from the window anyway, and theroom was all wrong. I had a vision, or…maybe I had left my distance goggles on.Idiot! I pushed them up my forehead, still feeling the tug to leave the attic.

BACK IN THE SADDLE FOR A ROW80 CHECK-IN, PARDNER

2011-12-03T22:55:00.001-08:00

Pretty darn dismal last check-in. Dismal, like Dismal Swamp -- there is such a place, I kid you not!
Serious dismal-nes here folks. Here's the weird thing: it was on fire for about three months. Still not kidding. If only I were on fire for three months...sorry. Still -- I'm very excited about this next week, I'm revitalized and raring to go. NOW, go now. Okay.

I need to narrow my focus on my WIP, figure out some key elements, so I'll do that by:
Brainstorm for 2 hours
Outline for 2 hours

Anything else is gravy...mmmmmh, gravy.

BTW, I started a YA yeeeeeeaaaaarrrrrssss ago about Dismal Swamp, honestly, how could you not?

How are the goals? Are you gearing up for round 5?

"Annie" (1982) - Tomorrow

2011-11-30T10:30:00.000-08:00

RELUCTANT ROW80 CHECK-IN

2011-11-30T10:17:00.001-08:00

I wasn't going to check-in. I thought to myself, self, you kinda are sucking right now at the whole writing thing. You were not gonna give up on nano, and you were doing pretty good. And then Monday came...and that was it.

I think I'm having some kind of end-of-November let down.
Oh, I'm okay, and soon I will have re-Pollyanna'd myself, and start believing in my work again. I just need a step back. I think I'm still a wee bit disappointed in my lack of effort for nano -- I know, I know -- my ROW80 goals were still being hit -- now I'm not doing either. Sheesh.

Okay, I was going to post a music video -- ended-up as it's own post, so, that's it above!

It's all good. How's about you guys?

WHERE WAS I?

2011-11-27T12:13:00.001-08:00

How the heck did it get to be November 27th folks? Seriously. On the bright side, Thanksgiving was a success, had my birthday the day after -- yay! -- still love birthdays. Received some excellent gifts. My husband and youngest surprised me with a Kindle Fire, the gorgeousity of it is mind-blowing.

On to the ROW80 check-in (which I skipped on the 23rd -- too busy!)
The nano portion of my goals was bringing me down and what I failed to really see was I was succeeding in my ROW goals -- my writing esteem far too enmeshed with nano, and what I perceived as failure in nano land was, by no means, failure in darling ROW80.

The weird thing is after I decided to simply give-up on nano, I came across all these lovely posts about, basically, not giving up. So I decided to keep at it. Once I made my decision I sort of loosened up and felt better all around. Now, I'm not going to be writing 34,000 words this next week, but I have been averaging 1k a day -- and that, my friends, is not shabby!

How's everyone else doing?

SUNDAY: IN WHICH THERE IS A CHECK-IN AND OTHER THINGS

2011-11-20T18:29:00.001-08:00

Wrote over 1k words since Wednesday's check-in (yay! for ROW80, not so much so for nano -- not sure, but I may have broken-up with nano).

Rearranged the office...and the living room...and the bedroom. Phew! So excited about this, and while I don't have the cool shelves Komal has, I now have so much room -- I can spread out all my writing shtuff at my desk and wheeeeel my chair around the office for fun. Both very important for productivity.

Youngest woke up sick Friday -- strep. Got some writing done, but I have an obsession with washing everything when someone's sick, so spent the day nursing and washing.

Lots of planning with the other Kennedy Women for new undertaking of THOSE KENNEDY WOMEN! We're building the blog and should be hitting the blog-o-sphere December 1st. Cross your fingers.

Feel so excited about all the things going on in my life!

HOW'S EVERYONE ELSE DOING?

MAY I CHECK YOUR ROW80 PLEASE...

2011-11-16T10:58:00.001-08:00

Errr, yes?

Okay, so I made my big statement about loving ROW80 and how nano makes me crazy, and then it was as if I just needed some down time. I mean really down time. Not depressed down time, just...NO. MORE. WRITING.

Okay, being a bit dramatic there, shawwwking, I know. I did write long hand, I played with my story and, I don't know why, but it's easier for me to take risks with pen and paper than it is with fingers and keyboard.

So, I've made my ROW80 goals -- at least 100 words a day, check-ins with other ROWers (have done excellently with that one -- very fun) and check-ins with ROW.

Feeling refreshed.

Now, onward and upward.
My mom and sister and I are starting a new venture:

THOSE KENNEDY WOMEN
renewing your home, your wardrobe, your life!

We'll be starting with a blog and website...eventually writing a book. Hopefully by next Wednesday's check-in we'll have our first blog up! Yay!

How's everyone else doing, anything exciting?

ROW80 CHECK IN and recalculation: : :

2011-11-13T13:57:00.001-08:00

Recalculating: : : :
I have turned left when I was suppose to turn right and now my writerly GPS (which has a lovely British accent) needs to recalculate.

And that is where I am. In need of recalculating.
I started round 4 with a dose of reality, a mere 100 words a day, some check-ins with other ROWers, and a few blog posts. It was, for the most part, doable. Kinda boring, yet, doable. Then that hussy nano came strutting into the final weeks of October and got me all hot and bothered and bursting to try (yet again) to write a book in a month.

Damn her. Sort of.

Am I writing waaay more than 100 words a day? Yes.
Am I excitied about my novel? Yes.
Am tired of the ad infinitum posts on loving/hating, wanting to kill the idea of it? Yes, YESS, YYYEEESSSSS!!

Yikes. Not only that, but last night my 12 yo said, "Hey, mom, do you wanna play a board game?" and for a nano (yes, I wrote that) second, I thought, oooh, I was gonna write, I'm behind in nano, I can't play, I need to do this. Thankfully, my mama brain slapped my nano brain, and it shut-up.

My son and I played Scrabble for two hours. It was great.

Recalculating: : : :
I love ROW80, ROW80 doesn't make me think writing should come before playing Scrabble. ROW80 still holds me accountable, yet it does so gently.
I forgot to mention, out printer died, my husband bought a new printer and suddenly everything needs to be moved and purged and redefined...recalculating: : :

So, here's my new ROW80 goals:
ORGANIZE office.
Write a book, get the core of it down, as fast as I can. Without guilt.
Check in with other ROWers
Develope new blog with my sister and mom (fun!)
Have Fun!

How's everyone else doing? Any nano thoughts?

WORDS...WORDS! GIVE ME WORDS!

2011-11-10T12:16:00.001-08:00

Yes! I love when one link leads to another link which leads to not wriitng your nano novel...I mean which leads to a super cool link which I am now in love with.The Bookshelf Muse

Now I don't have to rely on my hormonally challenged brain. Now, instead of he was angry, I can write: his face reddened as his jaw clenched, till I thought he might crack every tooth in his head. Ha!

I know eventually I would be able to think of much more clever ways of saying things, yet, when I'm in the clutch and my entire psyche is overwhelmed with the fact that I'm actually writing AND creating AND staying in my chair. I can't depend on my subconscious to think of anything more detailed than : she hated him. Which is why The Bookshelf Muse is now part of my double secret way of nanoing. Yay!

CHRONICLES OF NANO PLUS ROW80

2011-11-07T13:53:00.000-08:00

I don't even know what that means...I mean for me. Except, I made the insane decision to join a bunch of other sanity challenged folks and signed up for nano to write a 50k word novel in the month of November. Ye-ah baby. And now I shall make you suffer as well.

You are welcome.

I've done this dance before, never winning -- that is, never writing 50k. I have however started December bleary and cranky with 36k. Which aint shabby. And while most of it was not worthy of actual paper it was the start and middle and end of a young adult novel. So, what I had girls and boys was a really shitty first draft -- just like Anne Lamott says you need in Bird by Bird. http://www.amazon.com/Bird-Some-Instructions-Writing-Life/dp/0385480016

Yay! I had a really (really) shitty first draft. I think I got extra credit for the extent of the shittiness.

I plan on doing it again, only this time I'm aiming for 50k words of crap!

I've somewhat outlined my novel and have scenes brainstormed, so as not to get stuck. So far, so good. I have a respectable amount, not what I need, no. I'm not above cheating though. Here are some of my plans -- already in effect:

I will not use contractions! None of this "aren't" and "we'll" -- those are two words that can magically be made into four!

I will use many pretty adjectives. Many glorious and florid and descriptively seductive adjectives (adverbs as well)!

Full names only! Just like Stanley Gardner in his penny a word Perry Masons -- Tess O'Dell, and Sebastian St. Camael, and Miss Margaret Carmilla, thank you very much.

Duplicate statements ie: "You are a fool! A complete and total idiotic fool!" See? Instead of her saying, "Idiot!" with only one measly word she's saying a slew, a veritable slew of 10 words. Hah!

That's what I've got so far, as I think (and use) more, I'll let you know. Tongue firmly in cheek.

ROW80

I'm kicking a** for my ROW80 goals, well, for my daily word count Row80 goals, since my goal was 100 words a day, last I checked I was at 8,000+ for November -- but I'm changing some of my other goals.

Blog posts: I'll aim for 2 -- both check-ins, since I've been missing those.

Check-ins with other ROWers: I'll still aim for 5

Think that was it

I'll also keep you posted as to my nano state.

Are you a participant? Are you a mental basket case? Not yet. Tell me about it.

NaNoWriMo...Here We Go Again!

2011-10-23T11:58:00.000-07:00

What am I thinking? Clearly, I've lost the rest of my mind. I have decided to once again try my heart, brain, familial patience, and finger dexterwity (I meant to write dexterity -- Dexterwitty. I like it) at National Novel Writing Month. Here's My author info. So now that I've signed-up again I have to. Dang.

I really think this whole "not quite believing what I've done" will come in handy -- kind of a Zen approach -- I really don't care if I do or not do so I may as well do.

Green frog will soon hop-to-it (sorry...not really) and get plotting/writing/accomplishing. Can't you feel it?

ROW80 CHECK-IN

The week took unexpected, puffy dog turns*.

Wrote a minuscule amount.

Did, or rather, am cleaning and re-arranging office.

Gearing up for nano. I know, I know, if I can't keep up with ROW80, how the heck do I think I can do Nano? Who knows?

New math maybe. Some kind of quantum writing physics.

* meaning: Homer Simpson walks down the street, sees man in a suit and monocle who looks exactly like him, "That man looks just like me!" Homer says and runs after him, until his eye is caught by: "That dog has a puffy tail!" and he forgets all about his twin and runs after the dog.

What are your "puffy dog moments?"

LADIES & GENTLEMEN...RRRROW80 CHECK-IN

2011-10-12T10:17:00.000-07:00

It's not as if I've conquered any great thing, yet I feel as if I'm more on track (even in this limited amount of ROW80 the 4th time) with my goals than before. So, yay!

Sunday: 128 words
Monday: 172 words -- also a reading day. I finished SAVE THE CAT: Strikes Back! And had a huge epiphany with his book and Sonia's post at ROW80. He is so inspirational http://www.blakesnyder.com/
Tuesday: 109 words. Plus finished the first 2 steps in the snowflake method. http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/snowflake.php

I'll leave you with one of the most inspirational songs I know!

ROW80 CHECK-IN, BABY

2011-10-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

Feeling (Minnesota) optimistic.
Wednesday:
242 words
Check-ins with 5 other ROWers

Thursday:
103 words

Friday:
0 words :(

Saturday:
214 words
Blog

So, overall the word count (while measly) is right on track for my goals. Check-ins with other people is good too, blog posts...not so much so. But, I'm not letting that keep me down -- nononono. I'm seriously, seriously setting up a blogging schedule. You'll know when I know.

TODAY'S QUOTE

2011-10-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

"Going to the moon's no problem, all we need is a rocket."
Mickey Mouse

I love the simplicity of this quote -- he gets right to it. All we do need is a rocket. Sure we need lots of other things but if we had all those other things, like scientists and trajectories and ground control -- they don't actually get you to the moon. Not in the literal sense. It's the rocket that gets you there.

And I can make a writing analogy! Writing a book's no problem, all you need is a plot.

Sure you need characters, and description and deep point of view, but none of those will write you a book. It might write you something, but it'll be boring. Sorry.

This quote makes me smile -- and makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. What's your fave quote, and tell me why.

WHAT? THERE'S A TEST TODAY?!

2011-10-05T17:07:00.000-07:00

So, I'm already behind! But it's okay, it makes me laugh. Only because in my head I was thinking ROW80 started TODAY, not the 3rd -- when I actually posted my goals. Iiiidjit!

Okay, I've also spent the last two days writing a resume. (Confession: I've never had to write a resume, I know. )

So now here I am ready to start my goals. Yay! But now I have to make up for 3 days. Darn.
I did have an epiphany two days ago -- hey, maybe I should make regular epiphanies a goal -- initially I was taking my contemporary paranormal YA (that was finished but, had a distinct who are these people? to it) pulling it apart and using some of the premises and characters but making it historical and adding steampunk elements -- seemed easy.

Well, I stalled and I couldn't figure out why. Then it hit me; these people I was writing about weren't just my contemporary characters with different names. No. They were their own characters, damn it. Oh, and hey, the original characters? yeah, they wanted their lives back, but with purpose and cooler stuff.

So, now I have a YA that needs some major work, but most of the core stuff is done aaand I have my YA steampunkish that can now breath on its own. I am full up with shtuff and I love it.

What's happening with you guys?

OUT WITH A WHIMPER...

2011-10-03T19:17:00.000-07:00

So, I realized I haven't been around lately. Oh, I've been around -- to lots of blogs, just not at my own blog. Natalie Hartford visited and said she liked my goals -- er, um, those were from the first week in September. Talk about a slacker -- actually, let's not.

It's all good though. I'm already motivated for the next go around. I'm just not going to try for the big bang.

Think Small

Yup. No grandiose goals of finishing a WIP in 17 days, or brainstorming an entire plot in a caffeinated induced state of delusional genius-osity. Nope.

ROW80 taught me a few things about myself, I really like coming up with goals and I'm really bad at achieving them. Look, I'm a positive person -- I make Pollyanna look like a crab -- but these goals I made for myself were not conducive to me achieving them. I also learned, I have to actually make time to write, can't just wait for it to happen. Sheesh, who knew?

Goals:
100 words a day -- no. matter. what. I don't care if I do have a life, I can eek out 100 words a day.

2 blogs a week (ROW80 check-ins do not, do. not. count.

Visit (at least) 5 other Row-ers of the 80 a week.

That's it girls and boys. This makes me ridiculously happy. Baby goals, yay!

TODAY'S QUOTE

2011-09-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

My desk is like my refrigerator -- if I wait long enough, I don't have to figure out what to do/make with all the stuff, I can just toss it.
Amy Kennedy 8/01/11

I thought this quote as I was waiding through the brilliant ideas detritus (I love that word) of my desk. Half the stuff I couldn't even be sure what the scribbles were related to and the other half's still waiting.

The stoopid thing is, I'm an organized person. School stuff all in file marked School (present year), tax receipts in appropriate folders, bed made, dishes washed, house clean(ly-ish). My desk? My desk is an unwieldy crap storm. Ah well, what're you gonna do?

Clearly my desk is my Waterloo.
What's your Waterloo? And, would organizing my desk make my writing life any easier?

Renewing My ROW80 Vows...Vegas Style! Oh, Poop.

2011-09-07T09:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, maybe not Vegas style, but I am renewing my goals and that reminded me of renewing vows and that reminded me of my girlfriend and her husband who did renew their vows when they were in Vegas -- with an Elvis impersonator. It was awesome!

I want my writing goals to be awesome too -- or, at least, to exist. And if I need an Elvis to do it -- so be it. See how he's motivating me?

I've been woefully absent from check-ins and am feeling the nagging sense of "not trying hard enough" bouncing in my brain. Sure life has hit me with it's very essence of lifeness, ie: a crapstorm of yuck. But, like all good midwesterners, I know we need that ~~shit~~ manure to grow some fine stuff.

Enough.
Okay, goals:
Write and attach scene cards to Big Board
Write full outline, send to critique partner
Write 2 blogs a week (sheesh, at least)

This is it. This is my awesome. If I can complete this it really will be my awesome!

Happy writing everyone! How's everyone else doing?

Sugarland - Incredible Machine: Amex UNSTAGED

2011-08-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon the fact that Sugarland's cd Incredible Machine is full of Steampunk.
What an idiot!
I love Sugarland -- and I'd seen this cd numerous times w/o thinking anything...except, maybe, hey that's kind of cool...

The lyrics to Incredible Machine are gorgeous -- the outfits are fabulous and (now that I've noticed it) the cover is soooo cool.

Elvis

2011-08-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, feeling a little maudlin -- thought I'd put up a little remembrance of the King. I was reminded that he died 34 years ago August 16 1977.

I HEART Baseball and Other Tales of Horror (ROW80 Check-in)

2011-08-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

There are so many things not for the faint of heart.

Parenting: What do you mean, you want to drop out of school and (insert your worst nightmare HERE)

Sports: And the (insert your favorite losing team HERE) lose by one...

Now, add the two together and you have a double whammy of heart-rending material. The latest tale of rendering-o-the-heart comes to you by way of an All-Stars tournament:

Morning. Bottom of the second inning, Mauraders are up to bat, Nathan hits a solid single, next batter up, Nathan steals 2nd, on the first pitch -- he's safe. Which is good, 'cuz he's not exactly built with wheels. Second batter hits a single, Nathan's on 3rd now.

Third base coach calls for a suicide squeeze (Batter will bunt and Nathan will slide into home -- if catcher is in the way, you hope you can knock the ball out of his glove or get in under the tag) Nathan nods, he's ready, batter bunts Nathan's got a good lead and he slides into home -- perfect form -- ball in knocked loose and he's under the catcher...He's SAFE.

Nathan's not taking his eyes off the ump until he hears those words. Then he he starts to curl up into a ball. By this time I'm hitting my husband and saying, he's hurt, he's hurt. Husband starts to go to him -- dad has to go first, it's one of those made up rules in baseball, like a balk, or a delayed steal to home -- one of the coaches are there, helping him up -- I'm clutching the fence behind homeplate. Nathan reaches down, pulls at his sock -- it's ripped, then he sees his shin and starts to scream.

That's when I go -- made-up rules are stoopid anyway. By this time he's got all the coaches, both teams and the ump surrounding him. Luckily, there were some medical people at the tournament who could check on him. I'm on the ground at his head, holding his hand and saying mom things. His dad's at his side -- letting him know, it's okay (totally lying -- because this shit sucks) The emt tells us, he needs stitches and someone's called the ambulance.

Ambulance! We did accept the cart that drove Nathan and I back to the parking lot while Rick ran to get the car...we got to the ER in about 10 minutes with lots of creative driving, perhaps not always following the letter of the law, yet making sure we wouldn't add more injury. So, for the weak of heart, this is where you don't want to look -- for everyone else, here's the before and after pics. Nathan thinks they're really cool.

See? He really does HEART baseball!

Y? Why did this happen? But the stitches are in the shape of a V -- V for Victory!

There are so many writing analagies here -- but, I'm still so tired, that adrenaline is a killer, I'll talk about those later.

Quick ROW80 check-in: Still outlining steampunk YA -- lots of new plot twists, love that. Otherwise, pretty much nothing. But I'm gearing up for a big push here...any day now.

What did you do on your summer vaca?

You Like Me? You Really Like Me!? I Like You Too!

2011-08-05T16:04:00.000-07:00

This last month -- July, has been busy. I'm participating in ROW80 --cool brain child of equally cool Kait Nolen

And I was a part of Deana Barnhart month long -- Gearing Up to Get an Agent month. If we could bottle her (Deana's) energy, I can only imagine what we could accomplish!

Two favorite new friends from from GUTGA gave me with this awesome award.

Angie Cothran She and her critique partners have a cool blog on books and writing. Loved her first 200 words of her YA novel. She's got that deep POV That I can only dream of.

K.V. Briar I'm loving the fact that she's got more frying pans in the fire than the short-order cook at Mickey's Diner. My kind of girl. Once again, a great YA writer

Seriously, you can tell just looking at these two, that you would want them as your friends.

The Liebster Award (meaning friend in German) is meant to connect us even more and spotlight new bloggers who have less than 200 followers—but hopefully not for long. The rules of the award are:

1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.

2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. Post the award on your blog.

4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the internet—other writers.

5. And best of all – have fun and spread the karma.

My picks, which were hard to narrow down, are:

An Alleged Author funny funny funny.

Amber Plante smart, honest, funny. Great writing tips too!

Marie Andrews cool steampunk.

Ru she makes me laugh!

Lora Rivera just so cool. And her writing is dreamy.

I could have added so many more to this list...

What's so Bad About Being Skipper?

2011-08-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

Like lots of young girls in the 60s, I adored Barbie. Her hair, her eyelashes, her eyeliner, her clothes, her high-heeled bare feet. Her ridiculous body ( even at 7 I knew real women couldn't possibly have a shape like Barbie, unless you were Sophia Loren or Barbarella) but, boy did she look good in those schmancy clothes.

Then Barbie got a little sister, Skipper. Skipper was not a knock-out. She was cute, and friendly (I could tell by her non-mean-girl expression) but not a show-stopper. She was the girl next door.

No one was threatened by Skipper. She wore capris -- a lot -- and sneakers, her bare feet were flat, not molded to high heels. She was sporty. And definately not sexy.

A few years ago an aquaintance said to me, "You remind me of my Skipper doll I used to own."

Huh?

"Your nose and face, and bangs!"

But Skipper's...Skipper not Barbie.

Now, I'm no dummy, well, not this time. I laughed and thanked her, because she was complimenting me, no matter how I felt about it.

I saw this person again on Tuesday. I had just had my hair trimmed and she said, "We should call you Skipper." And then she told her 3 year old niece about Skipper and how I looked like her.

This time I loved it. This time, I really was no dummy. Because I am a 52 year old woman and have finally accepted the Skipper in me.

I've figured out that I like being Skipper. She's not high-maintenance, she loves to laugh, she loves going to sporting events, she likes animals and small children.

Besides, those high-heels really hurt my flat feet.

Anything you've accepted about yourself? Tell us. Please.

ROW80 Check In. Where am I?

2011-07-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

ROW80 check-in. Star Date, July 27th, 2011.

We find ourself in a strange, non-writing place. The inhabitants are friendly and the climate temperate. Which only leads to our own inability to put words on paper...how much longer can we go on?

This strange place's name? Staycation.

All silliness aside, I had great plans for this staycation 2 weeks of no work and lots of writing time. Yeah, not so much so. As you can see Sunday, when I should have been writing a ROW80 check-in, I was at a Twins game with our youngest. Monday and Tuesday a bit of writing got done, mainly for a contest. Plus, another baseball game, little league semi-finals. They lost :( after rallying back from a 5 run deficit, they were ahead by 1...other team had last ups and they pulled it off.

Plus, I don't know what I was thinking: no work. Ha! No work, except for laundry and vacuuming and dusting and organising and cooking. Not to mention all the stuff that needs to be done, but not enough time like, re-paint porch and basement. Crap.

Enough with the whining.

Even more than new words on the page, I need to nail the outline for my YA steampunk/fantasy.

NEW PLAN

Brainstorm and notecard outline

Re-write query

Post on Blog 2x a week not counting ROW80 check-ins

I'm not posting a goal for wordcount this go around. We'll see how I feel on Sunday.

How's everyone else doing?

GEARING UP TO GET AN AGENT WEEK 4 FIRST 200 WORDS!

2011-07-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

For week 4 of Gearing up to Get an Agent we're posting the first 200 words of our manuscript...I have started this in so many places, I no longer know what makes sense. Here's the first 200 words of my YA steampunk romance:

I was alone in the attic bedroom. That wasn't entirely true, I had the skitterings of Aurora in the eaves to keep me company. My foster sisters were performing in the production tonight so they would not be along to for another few hours. I hadn't felt well earlier and was excused from my duties as second stage-hand. I didn't act or sing, my foster parents said acting was not my cup of tea -- what they meant was, I had no talent for it. It's not the life for you, they'd say.

It's alright, I didn't care for the theatre, I only cared for the corner of the Mississippi I could see with my distance goggles through my bedroom window. Every moment That could be spared I me eyes were on that bend. One day soon, I would see the AirPirate ship that carried the Captain who was responsible for my parents' death.

If only I knew what I would do after I spied the ship. It's not as if I could call him out for a duel. I might be able to tinker a bomb...but, that was no good, I only wanted vengeance on the Captain not the whole crew.

ROW80 CHECK-IN SERIOUSLY.

2011-07-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, okayokayokay. A funny thing happened on my way to Sunday's check-in.

I got a rejection from an editor who had requested my first three chapters from a pitch on twitter-- and it was the second most exciting thing that had happened to me in the world of writing (the first being, the original request that came from the twitter pitch).

A rejection exciting? Yes. It was a long rejection letter telling me, not one, but two people reviewed it. They told me what they liked and why it didn't work for them...yet. They told me what I could do to make it better, and then they told me that although it wasn't right for them now, it didn't mean it never would be.

So, yay!

On to the check-in: feel as if I've been running in place, lots of writing, just not on anything I had planned out. Wrote a horrible query, got lots of lovely feedback from folks here:

Deana Barnhardt's blog -- Gearing up to Get an Agent

Such good advice.

So, I guess I'll have to wait until Sunday to see how I succeeded this week.

Good Luck everyone.

GEARING UP TO GET AN AGENT WEEK 3 QUERY LETTER

2011-07-16T21:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, here it is...I know it needs work -- lots o' work -- just wanted to get it up. Yikes!

Dear Dream Agent's Name,

In a time of gaslit streets how can a young woman hope to avenge her parents' death?

Finding out you're the descendant of Thor is a good start. Having the power to seek out the AirPirate responsible for their deaths is brilliant. Retrieving the legendary hammer from a Mad Genius might be daunting. And learning your almost boyfriend was instrumental in your parents' death might very well be debilitating.

Tess O'Dell has a wonderful opportunity to attend Miss Carmila's School for Exceptional Young People. At the school she copes with discovering her true identity, a best friend and a strong attraction to a mysterious boy; Sebastian St. Camael.

Sebastian has his own problems. Raised by pirates, yet born a true Angel he and his adoptive father are used in a cruel plot causing the deaths of Tess's parents. Unknown to each other by their twisted relationship, Tess and Sebastian meet at school.

Betwixt is a Young Adult Steampunk Romance, set in St. Paul, Minnesota on the Mississippi in 1869. This is my first Young Adult novel.

Thank you for time, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
Amy Kennedy

THINKING THURSDAY HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO BRAIN MALFUNCTION

2011-07-14T13:28:00.000-07:00

Hope this works. Love these guys. If language offends, it was unintended.
Mumford & Sons. Little Lion Man

http://youtu.be/lLJf9qJHR3E

GEARING UP TO GET AN AGENT BLOGFEST. WEEK2 STORY CHAIN!

2011-07-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

Here's the part before mine http://sivmaria.blogspot.com/

My part is weaving in backstory and my words are: kiss, delve, bruise. Here's to living up to those words! Skol!

I bent lower, and searching his face I kissed him on his bruised cheek. I would have done anything to stay with him, but I had to make it to the cave of the Larva. I stood and backed away from his helpless form.

"I'll not forget this Roddern," I sobbed and ran.

Larva. The name sent chills down my spine even as sweat dripped down my back.

Would the Larva help, or would it lead to more death and pain. Once again, I hated myself for finding the book -- finding it and openening the damn thing. And as if I held it in my hands the stench of eggs rotting filled my nostrils.

I wiped my forehead and looked once again at the map. I'd been running for what seemed like hours, the sun was lower in the sky, I hoped to reach the cave before sunset. What would the cave be like in total darkness. Chills again. A nagging thought, if you had the book, you could right the wrongs...maybe even your father's death. No. Those thoughts were not mine. And I would not delve into memories any longer. Yet there was a strange comfort to them.

And then, there it was. The cave. I could smell the Larva. It reminded me of the book.

For the next installment go to: http://weavingataleortwo.blogspot.com/

ROW80 Check In

2011-07-13T05:23:00.000-07:00

http://aroundofwordsin80days.wordpress.com/
So far so good. The weekly goals seem to be working. What is it in me that I almost hate to admit this -- as if the Universe will say, "Oh, look, she thinks it's working...bwahahaha! Let's wreck it!"

Idiotic, I do believe in positive thinking. I do, I do.

Words: 800 -- almost half way to my 7 pages
Edits/Revisions: 1.5 hours, not quite where I wanted to be, but not panic time either.

Feeling good. Gonna stay that way.

MADCAP MONDAY (LIVING IN HARMONY)

2011-07-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

Well, it certainly would have been a better (and more harmonic) start to madcap Mondays if I had gotten the blog posted this a.m. But since it felt more like mayhem Monday, I couldn't quite get it done. Dang. So I'll combine my madcap Monday and Tuesday tunes post into one.

LIVING IN HARMONY
It's not what you think, actually I don't know what you think, so maybe it is what you think. My Harmony was an actual place and not a state of being. Although that played an important role as well. Let me begin:

When I was 11 my mom and I started taking yoga classes together, now this was the late 60s when practicing yoga was considered one step away from smoking pot, so for my mom to be so open minded about it and to take me with her was really cool.

The best part for me? Classes were at a place called Harmony, sounds like a commune in Arizona. In reality it was a mansion in Woodbury MN. This place was gorgeous: double front doors, a huge round fountain in the entryway, flagstone steps leading down into the main living room with a two story wall of windows. Two baby grands in one corner and a massive stone fireplace in the other. And that was just one room!

Yoga class was in the basement, and by basement, I mean lower level. There was a level lower than that, it held the volleyball court, of course. Did I tell you this place was awesome? So, yoga yoga yoga. We did the real yoga, the kind with meditation. I soaked it in. I was 11!

The only thing better than going to class at Harmony, would be living at Harmony...D'oh!
I'll continue my "Harmony" posts on Mondays, but not every Monday, 'cuz, I might have other things to say.

So what about you? Any weird childhood experiences? Tell me.

ROW80 CHECK-IN

2011-07-10T12:03:00.000-07:00

Okay. I've reassessed the situation and have determined I have a problem. Not a huge problem. Just a problem with daily goals.

Tangent:
When my oldest was a toddler and saying no to as many things as she could, her pediatrician told me not to worry about her daily intake of food, instead, look to her weekly consumption.
Oooh. Way less frustration and worry.

Full Circle:
My daily goals keep getting sabotaged, I'm not naming names...alright, by me mostly, still, that's beside the point. Sabotage, that's the point. No, that's not the point. Goals are the point. What can I get done in a week, not necessarily a day.

Realization:
Daily goals are a good idea with a bad outcome.
Weekly goals are (might be) a better fit.

New Weekly Goals:
4 hours edits and revisions on GONE BLONDE
7 new pages written for BETWIXT

Phew.

THINKING THURSDAY, POSITIVELY.

2011-07-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

My Critique Partner reminded me I shouldn't stop my positive thinking when it comes to my writing.

Of course I shouldn't. But I hadn't even realized I was doing it. It's the sneakliest kind of negative thinking -- the accidental negative thought.

You'd think I'd know better. I was served positive thoughts along with my Captain Crunch since I was 5 years old. My mom has been a speaker and writer of positive thinking for a gazillion (count 'em) years http://joankennedy.com/ this is why it threw me for a proverbial loop that I was yucking up my thoughts with negativity.

I think I know why I was doing it though. It means too much to me. The writing. I was protecting my psyche...I wrote a character who voiced this: What if God had a wicked sense of humor, and only gave you a passion for something you had no talent for?

I actually don't believe God would do that, yet, sometimes, I live it.

So, now I'm going to start on purpose positive thinkingabout my writing -- intentional and specific.

I am a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. Thank you.
I make more than enough money to support my family with my writing and I love it. Thank you.
Or maybe I should start with something like this:
I enjoy the whole writing process. Thank you...very much!

I'll update as needed.
So, what trips you up?

ROW80 Checking In...Hello?

2011-07-06T11:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, so, not an auspicious start.

GONE BLONDE: Looked at some things that I wanted to change...thought about changing things. Set it aside.

BETWIXT: Wrote (and by 'wrote' I mean hacked) almost a page.

See what I mean?

I do have a couple blogs written, long hand in notebook at home.
Sheesh.

Hope everyone else did better. I have high hopes for this evening.

A Round of Words in 80 days!

2011-07-05T11:05:00.000-07:00

Hello Jules Verne. Alright, not quite. Yet, still exciting. I'm setting my goals for the next 80 days of writing, and you could too. Here's how: A Round of Words in 80 Days

A challenge that understands I have a life. Thank you!

So, my goals, and I do have them:
Revise GONE BLONDE one hour a day
Write BETWIXT one page a day
Write MY BLOG three days a week (cheating w/ music videos is alowed)

There they are...for now.
I'll post updates and first chapters soon!

Short and Sweeeeeet

2011-06-27T16:49:00.000-07:00

So, I'm hanging around not minding my own business, when I learn of a pitch session with Loose Id editors on twitter! Get them interested in your book in 140 characters...could I do this?

http://www.loose-id.com/

Yeeee-ees, I think I could. I have a book -- a little rough maybe, but beginned, middled and ended. Hadn't looked at it in a couple years -- I wasn't writing contemporary hothothot romance any more. But I knew my characters and I knew the basic primal instinct.
(Great blog on that is here: http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ at Kristen Lamb's blog.

Here's what boiling your plot down to 140 characters does for you -- it gets you to what matters. Okay, so this story could easily fall into: well, first, she'd sad, and then she finds a note and then she's sad. Oh, and then there's this other guy, and he's mad -- and they both need a vacation, and she decides to change her hair...not very interesting. I know.

I love my characters -- and wanted to do them justice, so here it is:

Eva needs vaca from :( self she's GONE BLONDE! Sun, sails, & mystery man sex! Uh-oh, his xwife did her dead hubby. Did he know?

Short story shorter: an editor asked for synopsis and 1st three chapters. I'm thinking positively about this -- because, no matter what it is a positive thing.

Tell me your good, cool news!

PRETEND BOYFRIENDS

2011-06-15T15:12:00.000-07:00

http://mydaguerreotypeboyfriend.tumblr.com/

The link at the top will be enjoyable to anyone longing for an old fashioned kind of guy. Or if you need ideas for a hero for your next historical romance, or Steampunk story. I think he's my favorite.

While looking through my mom's pictures, I stumbled on an old photo of a very handsome young man, thinking it may have been an old boyfriend of hers, I asked, "Who's this?" With lot's of inflection on the 'this.'
"It's your grandfather," she said.

Ooh. And d'oh! And uuuuwe.

Hopefully none of these pics are your grandfather, or, er, great grandfather.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2011-06-14T15:37:00.000-07:00

After much consideration, or, at least, a bit of consideration, I have decided to actually have a point to my blog.

I know.

Anyway, instead of me rambling on about my brilliant life or whining about stupid ideas for writing, I'm going to concentrate on the things I find fascinating, besides the myopia of my day to day life.

Here's my list:
Steampunk and Gaslamp -- anything, books, tv, movies, costume, gadgets. And I'm not going to let the fact that I'm not any kind of an expert hold me back. I loved Steampunkish stuff before I ever heard of it. Hello 1960s Wild Wild West.

Paranormal Stuff and Parapsychology -- because I dig it, and I lived in a parapsychology study center from 1968 -- 1971. Seriously. I'll write about that too.

Friday Miscellany -- cool stuff, cool music, cool sites. And maybe ramblings. You didn't really think you were getting away from the ramblings, did you?

And probably some other stuff as I think of it...

Gaslampery, Or, Fooling Around In a Steampunk World

2011-05-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

So, it's no secret I am in love with all that is Steampunk. I think it's the word...steampunk. It seems to encompass all the weird corners of imagination. Nothing is off limits. Pirate air-ships? Yes! Difference machines? Yes! Cool smart chicks with spectacles? Yes! Vampire Physicists? Yes! Technology with social graces? Yes! You get the idea.

I worry I might be taking things too far, at least with my characters. I have a Gas lit world with cool/old/new technology, my characters are teens and more than human, a la League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, they attend school together in an old mansion. Now, here's where I may be in trouble: I started making these characters more than one weird thing, like, a demi-god/Valkyrie or a werewolf/angel.

Can you say monster mash?

I wasn't sure if it was wicked cool or totally lame. And then the thing happened, you know the thing. You think you have this idea that nooooo one has ever done, like a werewolf/angel, and then you find out an author -- whom you admire -- is coming out with a series of books...and some of the characters are...fallen angels and lycan. Seriously.

Can you even imagine how many times I said "D'oh!" Alright, perhaps it was a different expletive. So, I guess it's probably wicked cool.

The question is: Do I continue with this idea? Because, clearly, my book will not be her book. And if I do -- will I still feel as if I somehow cheated?

To Dream, Perchance to Come Up With a Plausible Flippin' Conflict!

2011-05-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

I thought I was set: cool premise, interesting characters, a heroine, a couple of heroes, a villain. Bwahahahaha! I have a story! Then I read Kristen Lamb's post: Little Darlings &; Why They Must Die...For Real. http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2011/05/13/little-darlings-why-they-must-die-for-real-2/

My bright bulb of a brain dimmed a bit. I had lots of cool things, sure, sure I did, but no flipping conflict! Oh, yeah, maybe: gee-I like him-but I also-like him, conflict. Which isn't conflict at all, it's being conflicted, and sure won't carry a story and especially not written like that. I was just like one of the people who, when asked what their story's about, goes on and on about mythology and she knows this but doesn't know that and he thinks this but is really a werewolf and an angel -- see, see how cool that is? No.

So, I went back to the beginning. Of creation. Seriously. The mythology that I'm using for my premise and basing my characters on has many, many conflicts. Reading through the myths, I thought about how I could keep their core, yet turn them on their side. I started asking what-ifs.

I love what-ifs.

What if heroine's attracted to hero (also another guy).
What if they both attend the same extraordinary boarding school -- proximity.
And, what if she finds out he's the one responsible for her parents' death AND the only way to possibly avenge her parents' death, is with a weapon -- an ancient artifact, that only she can wield.
And what if said artifact has been stolen by a Mad Genius.
And what if she has to work with hero to retrieve artifact in order to save the world.

Here you are Madame, your bucket of conflict coming right up.
I don't know that I've ever come up with the conflict before I was finished with the first chapter -- I know! I would write not knowing what would happen. I've left lots open, so I'll still have the freshness as I write -- like how in the hell am I going to get the hero out of this mess.

Thank you muses. And thank you Kristen Lamb.

Have you serendipitously read or saw something that shifted your view point?

Hot Rock

2011-05-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

http://store.samhainpublishing.com/carolina-pearl-p-6160.html

Every once in a while my life becomes crazy. Busy crazy. I'll have three books I'm reading -- usually two in print and one audio -- one book I'm brainstorming, and one I'm editing. And did I mention baseball? Traveling baseball. And a full time job. And a husband. So, sometimes, I want a beginning, a middle, and a/n (happy) ending with less of a time commitment.

I want it now. All now. And, by golly, I got it with this fantastic gem of a novella by Sela Carsen, "Carolina Pearl." Werewolves, ghosts, legends, and a bastard son. Yes, please and thank you!

I started to write out a synopsis of this delightful book, but realized, I hate writing synopsis and the one attached to the link is great.

Sela Carsen's, Carolina Pearl is an interactive book, seriously. I was either laughing out loud, or fanning myself. Everything plays out perfectly, nothing's rushed -- hard thing to do in under 60 pages -- The sexual tension (and release) between Blair and Conn is spot on. And on. Sorry. Sela packs a full story in this compact container and it lacks nothing.

Read this novella -- and then read her other ones too. Really.

Royalty Schmoyalty -- I'm Queen!

2011-04-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

Ahem, Her Majesty, Queen Amy Pippa Kennedy Fossenton of Bloomingtonford!

Yes, that's me. Destined to be queen -- I knew it. And now I'm vindicated. Except, except I would rather be a princess. I mean, Princess Pippa does have a ring to it, yes? Although she sounds like a precosious 4 year old and not a rascally 52 year old. Dang.

Here's the thing:in fiction, princesses get to have the adventures, queens get to be wicked and set the rules -- sounds way too much like real life.

See, when I could have been a princess, I didn't realize the excellent adventures I could have. I was limited by my own young, uninformed brain. Now, that I've lived life and understand all that is open to princesses, I'm not deemed princess material -- I'd like a do over.

That's not going to happen. So I can't have princess adventures, alright, well, I set the rules (remember?) so I can totally bend them -- don't want to be a dowager before I see that I could have been having these other adventures as queen, but didn't see it until I had become olderish...sheesh.

It could have become a viscious circle, but now it's a Crown. A bright shiny crown. Anytime is the right time for adventures. Adventures aren't just for princesses, they're for queens too. Even wicked ones.

What's your new adventure going to be?

Sunshine, Lollipops, and Bludgeoning Everywhere...

2011-04-27T13:31:00.000-07:00

"What are we watching?" my husband asks.
"The Killing," I say.
He gives me the look, yeah, that one, and says, "You know, for someone who's all bunnies and rainbows you tend to go to the dark side...a lot. Why do you like this stuff?"

A valid question. And a true statement. I'm not dark...but, I love dark. Really, really dark. Don't get me wrong, I read and watch funny and light too. Yet sometimes, I don't just want the protagonist to be brooding, I want them broken. One of my favorite series features a serial killer as the protagonist.

Yeah. Dark. Maybe if a person's all rainbows, she needs some gore to even it all out.

You'd think with all that dark-love, I'd be writing it too...well, you'd be wrong. I've tried, and everytime I tried to write dark, some character cracked a joke, or smirked, or kvetched. Seriously. My characters would rather die laughing, than snear as they kill someone.

I used to try to fight it, hadn't I learned not to fight the me that is me? I keep re-learning that lesson. So, now I know, I write light. And that's okay. It's a balance, right?

Please tell me you have opposites in your personality too. And then tell me what they are.

Tracker Jacker

2011-04-13T10:58:00.000-07:00

There is something in me that hates keeping track. I'm part of a writing loop group -- which is, suprisingly, nothing like a loup garou -- we keep track of each day we meet our writing goals, once we hit 100 days in a row there is great rejoicing in the land and such.

I have never hit 100 days -- I'm sure I've done it, but I won't keep track. Can't keep track -- I've tried calenders using stickers, and smiley faces, and well, I've tried those two things...and I can't keep track. When I try to keep track I stop writing.

So, I've decided to embrace it. Which is what I do when I can't get rid of an annoying thing about myself, or others -- I embrace it. I seem to write more consistently when I don't keep track (kind of like a diet, when I say I'm going on a diet, I crave the donuts!)

It's almost as if I have to trick myself into things. If I don't think about writing, or having to keep track of writing -- I write. The minute I set up a schedule and put times on a calender, I may as well turn on the TV and veg. 'Cause, nothing's getting done.

I can trick myself into getting an inordinant amount of stuff done. If I don't schedule them or prepare for them, I just do them. Sounds ridiculously easy. And it is. I trick myself into exercising by staying in my PJs and not thinking about it -- sometimes the preparation for something makes my brain think it's actually done it. Stupid brain.

What do you trick yourself into doing?

Span(gles) of Attention

2011-04-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

I joke about having Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) a lot, yet I know it's not a deficit at all -- in fact, it's the opposite, more of a plethora of attention. And I'd prefer it to be called a theory rather than a disorder, but, I suppose chaos theory would be too much, right?

So, here I am with Attention Plethora disorder, thinking about all my interests which are legion. I write, not always well, but I like to consider myself a "writer," I garden, I make jewelry, I sew (sort of). My interests are varied. Ah, Varied Attention Plethora Disorder.

I'm thinking lots of creative (and I hate to lump myself in with that moniker, only because I would never say, "I'm a creative type." But, what are you gonna do?)folk have lots of other creative interests and maybe get waylaid by them.

Sometimes I dream of having all my interests surrounding me in a tangable way. I could leave out all my notes on what I'm writing, I could have all my beads and wire and detritus of collagable materials out, I could line up all my seeds and sketch a pattern for my garden...

As it stands, my interests get in the way of each other, vying for my attention. If I decide to leave one for the other, I first have to pack-up all signs of one and then unpack what I need for the other. Half my day is spent with this. That's not a part of my disorder -- that's my husband's disorder:all is good and right with the world when I don't see crap all over. Kind of a mouthful, but I try to help him with it by not leaving crap all over. He tries to help me with mine by saying, "Can't you concentrate on one thing at a time?"

Err, no.

I'm still left with:

Varied
Attention
Plethora
Interest
Disorder

VAPID...Oh, that's why I look like I'm staring off into space without a though in my head. D'oh!

What are your varied interests and how do you balance them?

The Joy...osity of Made-Up Word

2011-03-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

Don't get me wrong, I love a well crafted sentence. I can't always write one, but I love 'em. I also love words, especially solid words used correctly. Maybe that's why I find such joy in mis-using words on purpose and/or simply making them up to suit my purpose. A rebel without a...clause, parenthetical, even.

I have one friend (yes, I do), sometimes our coversation is so full of made-up or inappropriately added 'ly' words, that I'm sure outsiders listening in would exclaim to their own brains, "holy crap those two are dumber than I...er, me, no, wait, I."

I know I've posted about this before, yet, it's so dear to me I felt the needliest need to do it again. So, here is my list, always growing:

farly ie: he threw the ball farly
mosterest
bestest
foreverest
joyosity -- I may have stolen this from Louise Rennison, author extrordinaire of: The Confessions of Georgia Nicholson YA series. Sorry
needliest
fiter-fighter ie: The fiter-fighter fought the fire.

Well, you get the picture.

Which things do you love to do the wrong way?

Betty and/or Veronica

2011-03-03T07:18:00.000-08:00

I was a Betty all the way. She seemed nice & sincere. A good girl. Which is what I strived for always...mostly. Then I got to know Veronica.

Veronica Mars, that is. Hellloooo mystery with a smartass teenage Private Eye helper daughter. Oh. Oh. Where were you when I was a teenager longing to be a smartass? Damn. When you were there (TV) I was so busy with life and little ones I kept forgetting that I wanted to watch you.

Until now.

Now, that which is the miracle of Netflix instant streaming, I can watch you. Cue heavenly music...aaaand, done. Look, I know in the great scheme of things, or even in my tiny schism of thing(s), Veronica Mars may not be the most important thing. But she is cool. And she's cool by sticking up for what's right, even though she ends up as an outsider by doing that.

So, back to teenage Private Investigative, smart-mouthing, figuratively-speaking-butt-kicking girl. All the things I longed to be, when my reality was a teenage theatre group, somewhat smart (alecy), euphamistically-speaking-passive-aggressive girl...Yeah, um...I'd like to change my answer and go off the boards with being a Veronica instead.

Maybe there's no statute of limitations on becoming a smart-mouthed, butt-kicking girl. Clearly there is one on teenageer-ness. Thank God. Yet, I'd like to think if I'd had Veronica Mars as a role model I might have made some different decisions, or, at the very least, started my own P.I. company.

Who do you wish you had as a role model as a teen?

Slothier Than a...Sloth, More Comfortable Than a Couch, It's Pajamazon!

2011-02-24T07:43:00.000-08:00

A great day for me:
Wake up. Make excellent coffee. Read Sunday newspaper (it doesn't have to be Sunday, but it has to be the Sunday newspaper). Stay in pajamas for as long as possible -- if I never have to put on "real" clothes, then my day is perfection.

The older I get, the more I can't wait to get into my pajamas. The minute dinner is done and the dishes are washed and if there is no sports or school related function...then it's pajama time!

My husband and I vie for the prize of "first in pajamas." And then the other one yells, "pajama time!"

I'm fairly certain I'm much more patient in my pjs (my mom always called them pajeejays) how can I get upset when I'm so darned comfortable? I can't. My youngest understands this and gave me pjs for Christmas (along with excellent coffee). He's a smart kid -- keep mom comfy.

The other day, my husband gave me the name "Pajamazon." I love it so much, I'm thinking about changing my name...but I'm just too comfy to think about it now.

Do you love pajamas? Do you even wear PJs?

No Fun for You, But, Enjoyment is Okay...

2011-01-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was in Seattle for family reasons. That doesn't sound like fun, does it? Well parts weren't fun, like waiting with my two sisters and brother-in-law while mom was in surgery. That wasn't fun, it was, however, hopeful. And the surgery turned out successful.

After mom was out of recovery she said us,"Go have fun!," to which my brother-in-law replied, "We'll enjoy ourselves, but we won't have fun. Not without you."

It's funny how you can do that. Because, no matter what, part of your heart is back in the hospital room with your mom. So nothing is wholehearted, (pun, not intended) which is how we could enjoy ourselves, and we did, yet, not have fun.

Mom's doing great, we knew she would, and I'm certain, can't wait to start having some fun.

Le Cupcake...Or, I Couldn't Find the French Word for "Cupcake."

2011-01-12T14:21:00.000-08:00

The idea of France makes me smile, just the idea. It's been my dream to visit since the good nuns of St. John's decided to teach French to 7 and 8 year olds. I was hooked at: Bonjour! I could recite all of Little Red Riding Hood, AND I understood what I was saying. Really.

Unfortunately, they didn't continue it past the second grade. The French language and I did not cross paths again until JR. High School, 8th grade...ah, Bonjour! Comment allez-vous? It was a pretty good reunion -- even moving to Rhode Island and trying to decipher French through a Warwick accent didn't phaze it.

You'd think I'd be proficient...five years of French (six, counting 2nd grade), and all I can say now is: Le vagues son tres forte. Yeah, those waves are pretty darn strong. Oh, yeah, and: Quasimodo rit! Yet, the dream lives on -- I still want to go to France, they all speak English there, right?

Patty Griffin - Heavenly Day

2011-01-08T13:35:00.000-08:00

Happy Expectations...Are Great.

2011-01-04T10:39:00.000-08:00

Happiness comes easily to me, even in the midst of sorrows, I can compartmentalize and see joy -- over...there, while feeling pain, here. I think it's a skill, or maybe a handicap, whatever it is, it gets me through the day.

Happiness comes easily to me, so what? So, I want to spread it.

Like frosting

Swirl it around, make peaks, create designs, and then lick my fingers. Yum.

So, here's the thing, I'm going to try to do just that -- spread that happy joy joy here, without treacle (too much of a good thing, and all that). This blog and moi have gone through a few inceptions, but I've decided on sticking with joy.

Happiness/Joy in all flavors -- books I love, people I adore, writing days that make me sing (even those that don't -- I'll try to find the humor), music that makes me wish I were young(er) and could be someone's dancing queen.

My happiness goal for this blog: Post 3x a week, in combination of words, collage, music.

I chose "Cupcake" as my blog name because, of course, it makes me happy.
What makes you happy?

A Few of My Favoritest Things...

2010-11-18T06:10:00.000-08:00

In no particular order:
Bacon. Who doesn't like bacon? I had a vegitarian yoga instructor, he would say, "Well, if it's a gift (the bacon), then you can eat it."

Pigs. Unfortunate, I know -- I love them for their smarts, and always try to not love bacon after visiting with one.

Crackly ice. The kind you step on, not the kind in drinks...well, that kind too.

Crackly fall leaves. Walking through them. Not so much raking them.

Hard Rock. The better to clear my head, and bang it.

Opera. The better to feel to the depths of my soul. No, really.

Glasses on toddlers. I don't know why...I just love it.

Good coffee with cream/tiny espresso with a twist of lemon. self explanatory.

Dirty Martinis. Also self explanatory.

Clean Kitchens. The better to make the coffee and the Martinis.

Boots. Especially ones made for walking...

Handsome men who are nice.

Eating potato chips late at night.

Chocolate cake for breakfast.

Ice cold milk. With the chocolate cake. But not the potato chips.

And finally (for now) one of the things my youngest loves:
"I love the word 'uber,' it sounds so cool -- and, it's a real word!"

betwixt

2010-10-08T10:57:00.001-07:00

betwixt by amy kennedy featuring a pink brooch

YA paranormal. complete, until I made this piece, now I'd like to add more things!

steampunk redux

2010-10-03T13:13:00.001-07:00

steampunk redux by amy kennedy on Polyvore.com

Write What You Know...nononono.

2010-08-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

So I'm trying to think of an overall villain or Arch Nemesis for the heroine of an Urban Fantasy series I'm brainstorming. We're always being told to write what you know, so I thought about my own Arch Nemesis, yes, I have one...he's pretty lame, not exactly a Lex Luthor or Moriarty, more of a "Newman" to my "Seinfeld." But, still a Nemesis, and Arch, at that.

My husband asked me,"So how did he become your arch nemeses?"
"Well," I said. "He smokes cigarettes at little league games whilst blowing smoke at the back of my head...AND he irritates me."
"So, am I your arch nemeses too?" my husband asked.
"No, you don't blow smoke at the back of my head." fa-dump-dump.

Truly, I think I just like saying he's my Arch Nemeses, rather than him (his?) actually being my Arch Nemesis. But every cell in my body rebels whenever I see him and I literally have to growl a little. The last time I saw him he looked me in the eyeball and burped as he passed me. Seriously.

Clearly I need a much stronger villain for my books. A surprising villain, my A.N. is surprising, simply because why would some random passive aggressive blow hard be my villain. But I need someone more surprising and not so irritating. So, in this case I have to look outside my what-I-know box. Way outside it. I sort of have to do that for the whole series. What my heroine does for a living is outside my "known" box, as well as what her powers are. I'm doing a lot of: NEED INFO HERE, stuff.

It's scary to be outside that box, yet, along with the fear, there's excitement. A what-the-hell-do-I-think-I'm-doing excitement, but, still, excitement.

So, when you're way outside your "known" box how do you react and what the heck do you do about it? And, who's your Arch Nemesis?

The Black Beret Way

2009-12-12T20:41:00.000-08:00

So, I'm taking an online writing class, and in it the teacher talks about "The Green Beret Way" -- but, I'm thinking I'd much rather do things the "Black Beret Way."

What is this? You ask. It eez, simply put, the verra French way.

Allow me to explain, I have French prints, French handbags, French stickers, even a (partly) French grandaughter...but, I've never actually been to France. It's okay, for now, it allows me the latitude to make-up things about France and being verra French. It eez, how do you say...liberating, oui! And, I like to think, a completely French way of doing things. My French way of doing things: The Black Beret Way.

Un: Laugh every day. Every sacre day, no matter what. Laugh loud and long -- head back, chin up, as if you didn't have a care in the world.

Deux: Eat something indulgent, maybe not every day, but certainement, once a month, preferably from a French bakery, and preferably involving some kind of chocolate and cream. C'est Bon!

Trois: Wear fabulous shoes (unless they kill your feet, then they are no longer le fabuleux soulier) great shoes make you feel sexy, and they don't kill your feet -- well, maybe if you have to walk in them...just kidding.

Quatre: Try something new -- go somewhere you've never been -- perhaps not France, but maybe a museum, museums are tres Francais and a perfect place to pretend you're French. Wear black with fabulous red shoes some red lipstick and smile knowingly at the security guards. This works well for la fille or le garcon. Tres chic!

The rest should be made-up as you go -- be fearless, be brave, be verra French! And remember: *Quasimodo rit, and you should too.

*Quasimodo laughed. One of the few French phrases I remember from 5 years of French...Oui!

Those Darn Kids And Their Crazy Music

2009-10-06T20:41:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling a little...stressed (I hate writing that -- I mean, I'm not the President or anything), and I've been trying to figure out how to rid myself of said stress without starting smoking (again) or drinking (excessively) or eating (too many) Frito's.

But, today, as I was driving to work, I put in a cd that someone had made for me a while ago -- I had forgotten what songs were even on it, but I slid it into the console and as the first strums of the guitar came through the speakers, I instinctively turned up the volume and as the song reached the chorus I cranked that puppy even louder.

I should have been pulled over for some kind of noise ordinance violation.

I turned into a head-banging, scream-singing, grunge-rockin' momma. I know. Pretty scary.

But, here's what happened -- I had an epiphany. I suddenly realized why those crazy kids like to listen to ear-drum-bleeding loud music -- when the music's that loud, it squeezes everything else out, there's no room for stress, or doubt or sadness. It's just the music, and you have to surrender yourself to it, for that short amount of time -- just the sweet, sweet sound of whatever kind of head-banging, ear-bashing, mind-blowingly loud music you choose.

And you'll see, for those 4 minutes or so, you'll be in a kind of hard core bliss. I'm not saying your problems or stresses will be gone, but, maybe after that mini-vacation (like band camp)you'll be able to deal with them just a little better.

The song I listened to is: Everlong, by The Foo Fighters. What's your favorite de-stresser? I've posted a link at my facebook page for Everlong -- it's awesome, but you have to play it reallyreallyreally loud.

Working The Jelly

2009-09-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

Honestly, sometimes I think I'm hip and cool and all that...and then I remember I'm a 50 year old with a granddaughter. D'oh!

So, I've decided to ramp-up my hip-ability and my friend Don is helping me -- or trying to help -- he's decided to add a cool-word/verbiage a week to my vernacular. Oh, so not cool.

Workin' The Jelly: to have your plans jell. To be actively working towards a goal. I like this, I like to think of my work-in-progress as workin' the jelly, or workin' my jelly.

Plus it makes me laugh. Always good. It makes me imagine my Muse dancing and shaking and really, really workin' her jelly, all for the greater good, but her workin' it, makes me work it. See?

So, now I'm trying to think of all the ways I can help my Muse work the jelly...because we all need help. Even Muses. So, I've asked some friends to help me brainstorm, we'll all be workin' the jelly. I think my Muse is happy.

Fashion Sense

2009-08-12T22:09:00.000-07:00

So, I was gonna write a post about fashion, but it didn't translate well...I sounded mean, and judgemental, and maybe patronising. I'm not those things. Am I?

I wanted to sound helpful, and friendly, and maybe even joyful -- 'cuz, I want everyone to look good and feel good about themselves. No, really, I do.

How's this?:
Wear longer jeans! Your legs will look longer aaaand, you'll feel good.
Wear clothes that fit you! Not too little, not too big...just right. You'll feel better and look better too.
Look outside the black! Brown, red, aubergine -- they're all good colors.

I know, still kind of patronising. I thought the exclamation points would help. I just don't want to sound mean girl-ish, or, rather, woman-ish. And everyone should feel comfortable in their clothes, but I'm not talking sweat pants comfortable -- okay, maybe, if you're at home and there's no chance someone will see you, no chance, got that?

I know we all want to be loved for who we are and not how we look...but, it kinda feels good to look good.

Middle-ing Something

2009-07-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

So, I had commented on facebook how it felt good to finish something, and then I went on to say, we never middle something - we start something, we finish something, but we never middle something.

My nephew, Andrew, showed me the error of my thoughts. He says he middles everything, or sure he blames it on adult ADD, as if that...what, oh - hey - look at that, I never...huh? Right. So Andy says he might have a slight chance of finishing something if, IF he takes his ADD medication that lasts about 6 hours and the project only takes 4 hours. Slight chance. Might finish it. You get the idea.

So, I was wrong, middleing happens. We just don't talk about it, unless we don't want to help you move...hey, look at the time, I gotta go, I'm - uhm - right in the middle of something.

What are you middle-ing?

Ooooh...That's Right, I have a Blog

2009-06-29T22:11:00.000-07:00

D'oh.

This is me two weeks ago...oh blahblah blibbidy blah, I have a blog for a reason and I should post more often...blibbidy blah...what a load. I mean, I'm sorry I was busy.

I. Was. Busy. I forgot. Okaaaaay, sheesh, I didn't forget. I thought about it, and then I winced, and then I went on with my day. Just like people do with all kinds of stuff they know they should do but don't.

So today I did the other things I'd been wincing about. Doctor appointments - the usual girly ones (you know the ones I mean - yes you do) and the brand new shiny one that I've never made before...drumroll please...the colonoscopy! Thunderous auplause, etc. etc. etc. blahblahblah. Here's the thing with a test like this - or any test: mammogram, pap smear, colonoscopy - people luuuurve to tell you their horror stories.

And then she tightened that machine down on my breast so hard...I thought I'd explode - I had bruises for a month. I pooped for two days...I couldn't leave the house.

You get my TMI idea, right? My friend from work, Laurie, says she'll send me something after I've had my colonoscopy - she says I wouldn't want to read it before. I think that's a good thing.

All of this reminds me of when I was pregnant close to my due date. I was in labor for forty days with no doctor, only a team of dentists...same sort of thing, don't ya think?

Why do we love to tell medical horror stories?

Indubit (bsphlll) ly--hahahahahahahahaha

2009-06-15T22:31:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to become a 10 year old boy tonight. Not just any 10 year old boy, but the friend of my 10 year old boy.

We were watching Monday night RAW--wrestling, duh-uh. And we started announcing the matches in fake British accents and using as many farting noises as we could fit in when appropriate.

Hilarity.

The British stuff all started a few days ago when we went to the park--there were a few people playing basketball--parents and kids--Nathan wanted to play, so I said, "Ask them."

He said, "Couldn't you?"

I said, "What would I say?"

He said, (with feeling and a fake British accent) "This young lad would like to play some b-ball with you, would that be alright?"

So I almost cry, because I'm laughing. So. Hard. And I say, "Borgy, my step mom would have said 'young lad' but not with a British accent--and she would probably do something like that for you...but I'm not gonna--you have to ask."

So this goes on--we finally find a random basketball and start playing at the other end and then attract numerous other players--because everyone wants to play.

But my point is the fake accents started earlier in the week. Tonight we perfected them.

RAW had a "Many Men In The Ring Match To See Who Would Face (the scum that is) Randy Orton in the WWE blahdeblahblah match (I can't know everything) so my ADD (don't we all have that?) was kicking in and I said, "There's way too many guys in the ring--I can't concentrate."

Until Nathan started using his fake accent again and then I helped him:
Young lad, could you throw the Miz out--oh thank you.
I say, John Cena, get up off your arse and whoop some other arse.
Young lad, unhand him.
Oh my look at John Cena's jiggly arse.

Then we progressed to: Indubit(bsphllllph)ly --farting sounds became derigueur in addition to our accents--we added them to everything. Until only Triple H (whom we called the lad with three H's) and John Cena were left in the ring.

We did this until it was bedtime and we had completely irritated Dad. And I realised as I was laughing--snorting--with my 10 year old that it's fun to be 10. More people should try it. He said goodnight to Dad and I went to tuck him in--maybe read a little (it's late after RAW) but we kept on with the accents and farting noises--seriously you had to be there--here--it was hilarious--well, maybe you had to be here.

What are you surprised at liking? Have you ever acted like a 10 year old, when, in fact, you weren't a 10 year old?

The Thinker

2009-06-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

My Dad graduated summa cum laude from the school of journalism at the University of Minnesota. He went on to a career in finance but he was still a writer. He never sent anything in to a publisher, but he was still a writer. I remember saying to him--Dad, why don't you send this in to someone, The New Yorker maybe? And he said--It's too personal, I don't want some stranger reading this stuff--it's none of their business. But, he was still a writer.

He had great stuff too, maybe I'm biased (of course I'm biased--it's written into the rules) but I know great stuff and this sir, was great stuff. Personal? Hell yes. But isn't all writing personal on some level? I didn't have the argument back then to convince him to send his stuff in, but if he were alive today I'd like to think I could cajole and maybe convince. Or bully him if necessary.

I read one of his poems at his funeral, 13 years ago--my sisters and I displayed some of his other pieces, some poems, some just ramblings, all art--he's probably still mad at us...except, no one there was a stranger, so maybe he's okay with the whole thing.

Don't know what got me thinking about my Dad--except I always think about him, but it's not a birthday or an anniversary. It is almost Father's Day, but I think what it really is, is baseball season, it was his favorite sport--a thinking man's game, what better sport for a poet. And I would give anything to have him be able to see another grandson play ball.

He'd kill me, or worse yet ground me, if I ended with one of his poems, but I will end with an Al Kennedy quote: "It's alright...well, it's not alright, but it's okay." This was him trying to make me feel better about him dying of cancer--what a mensch.

2009-06-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking I should probably write about writing. I like to call myself a writer--I figure the more often I call myself that, the better the chances are that I'll actually believe it--and I started this blog with the intention of it helping my writing in a nebulous sort of way.

If I whine about it, it (the writing) will come.

That seemed valid.

So my work in progress, or WIP (or WHIP--as in it's thrashing my behind) was a bare bones rough draft--choppy and lacking in exposition, but the creeky skeleton of it was down on paper...until the fatal flaw was pointed out to me--twice, damnit. I bravely dissagreed, because, really, what do published authors know anyway?

Oh.

I read my rough draft again, and again, and again. Cue arrow shot--straight to my writerly heart.

I. Had. To. Start. Over.

Over. And not just, oh well I'll write a new fresh story, no. I love these people, and I had no idea what "You have to kill your darlings," could encompass. A turn of phrase here. A whole loverly scene there. M-o-t-i-v-a-t-i-o-n...killed--changed.

And then, to twist the knife, as I'm re-writing my darling, I realise there are things that need to be changed again {{{again}}} because I've decided something worked better here. And my whole being wants to go back to the beginning (because, it's a very good place to start--or so I've been told) and change the things that need changing so my story will make sense right now.

But I don't. Because I know--know--more things will change and then I'd have to change the first part that leads to the second part and the party of the--you know what I mean. So, I stop myself from going back and just move forward.

And I realised, tonight, that that is a cool analogy for life.

You can't go back and change the first part, just so this part makes better sense--you can only move forward. And make this part--this right now part--the best part it can be.

Mid-Year Resolution...Or Half-Time Gooooal!

2009-06-07T09:03:00.000-07:00

I reallyreally wanted to write a blog, have a blog, be a blog. No, not that last one, but I do have a lot to say, just not a lot of people to say things to. I'm lying--I do have lots of people I can talk to, just not a lot of people who will let me soliliquize. Sure, I could sit on my back porch all by my lonesome and utter profound statements to the birds (and we know those statements would be for the birds) but all of us want other ears to hear us...Yes?

So, my point, and I do have one, is if I wanted this, why don't I use it?

Hmmm...good question.

I like writing (and by that, I mean I hate it) I like having a captive audience (spotlights, please) and I like to get things off my chest (because I have no chest to speak of, it can't hold much and it needs to get emptied frquently) so you see this whole blog thing is a perfect fit, unlike my bra.

So, my half-time goal is to blog at least three (3) times a week. See what happens...will I run out of things to talk about? Will I be boring? Will anyone even care?

Who knows?

All's I know is I feel better being able to vent, whether anyone's listening or not.

I don't really have a question for anyone...but feel free to vent.

Time and Time Again--It AIn't Flying Anymore

2009-05-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

Where does time stand still?

Hospitals. That's where. They're in a different time zone altogether--with their own time theories. Time does not move here the way it does out there. It creeps and crawls. Their clocks, external and internal are wired for an alternate universe--a slooooooow universe. Hospitals are the relative you always have to make allowances for, if the party's at 3:00--you tell them it's at 2:00, or 1:30. But with hospitals you have to pad the time. If surgery is scheduled for 10:20, you should add 2 hours.

Just to be on the safe side--or sane side. I wish I had remembered this fact. Luckily I did remember my laptop--and the waiting room has wireless. Thank you, oh great ones of this place outside of time...

So my older son is the one having surgery. Broken jaw. Ow. I won't go into details, suffice it to say, the details are incredibly stupid and only achieved by young men who are legally adults, but so not adults.

The last time I was waiting for him to come out of surgery was 21 years ago, he was 3months old and I was nowhere near the level of calm I am now--and with good reason. But, obviously he survived. And so did I. We'll both be fine after this too, I'm just not sure which one of us will have the longer recovery time.

I don't know if I have a question. I know, what was the hardest lesson you had to learn?

If Time Really Does Fly, Why Doesn't My Baggage Ever Get Lost ?

2009-05-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

Okayokayokay...soooo it's been awhile since I've blogged. And I realized I hadn't blogged in awhile, but when I saw the date of my last post, well, that's just not right. Right?

But, we all know life and...other things happen that makes our time fly. So, why can't it fly first class? I think sometimes it does, we just forget about those times.

Lately I feel as if I'm letting it fly by, or maybe as if I've been grasped by the hand and pulled along--with no control as to any destination.

So, today, my Mom, Joan Kennedy (not that one) gave a workshop at the library where I work and I was reminded in a non naggy mom way that I do have control over my life and my time. I'm the damn pilot. D'oh! I had forgotten that fundamental fact. It's my life. A mental slap to the cerebelum, or wherever, is a good thing, something we all need every once in a while. We all just get pulled into the flow of what's going on around us--a centrifigal force of crap--we forget that we are the pilot and the navigator of ourselves.

And that "baggage" we carry with us, well...let's toss it out over the Bermuda triangle. Ba-bye.

So, what's it like where you stand--are you the pilot? What could you do to become the pilot?

D'oh!

2009-04-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

It's been over a week since I've posted...time flies.

So, I've been thinking about friendship, new and old, and how much I love it. That sounds sappy. Luckily, I don't care. I seriously don't care if I sound sappy or Pollyana-ish or, or any other metaphor you can come up with that, obviously, I cannot. Friendship is everything.

And by everything I mean, everything. I have different friends, I have friends since birth (literally--we were introduced at birth) since junior high school, since high school (lost and found) since moving to Rhode Island and back to Minnesota, since working at the library, and since I've been on line. And they all fill a certain need--or want--or empty place--or whatever.

You know what I mean.

My husband is my friend, but seriously, do you think he wants to talk cute shoes...or for that matter other cute dads at the school carnival--I think not. He doesn't even want to talk about books. Sheesh. Some friends fill many needs, some just a few. All are important.

All are important.

During my first marriage, I felt as if I had few friends. My long time friend Jeanne was one and if you can count my sister Patty, I had two. I was cut off, I won't blame it on him, because, no matter what, I allowed it. That felt yucky to say.

But now, I feel as if I am a magnet--or a bully: be my friend. Now. When I met one of my best friends, Michelle Buonfiglio, she came into the library and asked about romances--I pounced on her--not literally, we don't like each other that way. Anyway, she kept coming into the library and we kept talking. And then we saw each other at school. We were shawked.

Seriously.

Then I finally said, here's my e-mail, we should go out to lunch. I made her be my friend.

I've always been happy for my one time aggressiveness. Never had I done that before. Maybe in kindergarten (not the e-mail address, cuz that was in the olden days when there was only fire and string) but I may have made someone come over to play Barbies--I think she was invented (I'm joking, of course she was, we're the same age, Barbie and me.)

So my point is, I love my friends and will do anything for them. Seriously.

What would you do for your friend?

Manic Monday

2009-04-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

Such good intentions.

I'll take a shower and get ready for work before my youngest leaves for school, then I'll be ready to fly out the door to get the grocery shopping done, get back home and have plenty of time for writing before I actually have to be to work.

D'oh.

I should know better, I've done this before.

I have a habit of trying to cram too many things in too short a time span. I think it keeps me lively.

Or crazy.

Really, I wouldn't have it any other way. I know, it sounds stupid--but I'd rather have a lot to do--I think I actually get more done that way. Too much time equals too much time to waste.

Okay, I might be lying, I do that sometimes. Because I also like to have great expanses of time with nothing to do but sit and read.

Aaah.

Which would you rather have too much time or too many things to do?

Much Ado-doo About Nothin'

2009-04-17T21:10:00.000-07:00

That's right--nothin'. Nada. Zero, zip, zilch, as my Dad used to say.

I'm stuck. I got nothing. I'm talking about writing--I got plenty of other stuff, but writing? Plenty of nothing. I know, I know, if I just keep writing something magical will happen and all kinds of ideas and plot twists shall appear.

It's just that...I don't wanna.

I mean I do, but I don't. My husband jokes with me and says, "You want to have written a book, but you don't want to be writing one."

Maybe, maybe in a way he's right except when it really is magic and the words fly from my brain to my fingertips onto the keyboard and appear on the screen. Then, then I want to be writing a book.

To be writing, or not to be writing, that is the question--whether tis nobler...oh, what the hell--I chose to be writing.

It might make me crazy, but at least it keeps me from going crazy. And I have to prove my husband wrong (not about the 'have written' just about the not wanting 'to be' writing).

The Wheels On The Bus Go Round 'N Round...

2009-04-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

Hey, I've got an idea, I'm going to take the 10 year old on a bus ride to visit our good friends. It will be exciting...

And it was, the first hour. The last seven and a half hours? Not so much so.

The DVD player didn't hold its charge, I couldn't get the laptop connected to the free WiFi on the bus, and we forgot Bunny. He has never gone to sleep without Bunny, literally. He talks about maybe he's too old for a stuffed animal, but I think when you've been with someone your whole life they're more than a stuffed animal, they're your friend.

The main point is all these things are tied to the bus for him--it is, in fact, the bus's fault that Bunny was left at home, that the DVD player didn't hold its charge and for no internet--well, that's true, it is the bus's fault. Now the cool thing is we played a couple card games (we're talented) and 20 questions and looked at cows and horses along the way--he actually did great with hardly any electronics.

But he's sworn never to set foot on a bus again, luckily, because the bus was so dang cheap I was able to book us on a flight home. He's really excited about it...

Of all the best laid plans what have been your worst ideas?

Enough About Me, Let's Talk About My Shoes

2009-03-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

Let's talk fashion.
And just so you don't think I'm a totally uncaring daughter and mother with the whole fashion thing--everyone's doing so much better. Mom's home with a medication change and son is on an over the counter thing for a couple weeks. We're sleeping through the night again baby.

So let's talk fashion. So my girlfriend Michelle, Michelle Buonfiglio, knows the importance of good shoes. And when I say good shoes I don't mean good for you (except for the soul) I mean Good--as in, "Oh my Gawd, those shoes...they take my breath away," good. She came into town this weekend and did she have a great pair of shoes to show me. I won't do them justice describing them, plus they're her shoes to describe or not. But my point (yes, I always one) is that she understands they are the foundation of her outfit--which is also great and has nothing to do with the next paragraph.

Here's the thing with shoes, you can have an okay dress, but pair it with fab shoes and it raises the value on the dress--like a really good school district does for your house...really. But the same can be said in the opposite, which I will:

great dress + okay shoes = blah--or hiding behind the buffet table all night.

My Mom, always said, "Older boys might like you."

No, that's not it.

"Spend more on your accessaries than on the rest of your wardrobe." That's it. You can fake a lot of things, but you can't fake a great pair of shoes.

Sammy, and I Don't Mean The Good Kind

2009-03-25T06:22:00.000-07:00

I know we all love a good sammy, here's one of my faves, Clive Owen, moi, Daniel Craig.

Now that's a good sammy! But I'm not talking about good sammys today. I'm dealing with some serious stuff lately...and so I shouldn't have even joked about the Clive/Daniel thing, but I also know I need some humor, cuz that's how I roll.

My Mom is a powerhouse, an 86 year old public speaker, author and fashionista. If you happen to say to her, "Gee, I should paint my living room." she'll show up with a ladder and a roller before you've hung up the phone.

My youngest is a different kind of a powerhouse, rarely sick (and I mean rarely) plays baseball, football, soccer and wrestling. A funny kid who's just as willing to laugh at himself as anything else.

Within the last 5 days my son has had a mysterious ailment, sometimes waking him up in the middle of the night, which naturally leads to me waking up in the middle of the night. During this same time my Mom was admitted to the hospital. So between Urgent Care and hospital time and a Pediatrician appointment, I'm feeling...sandwiched.

How do you cope? I try for lots of humor and no vacuuming. But the running has fallen off and I know I need to keep up with the excersize, 'cuz that will help me cope as well. But tell me how you cope.

Is It Live Or Is It Blah Blah Blah

2009-03-20T11:26:00.000-07:00

I decide to get on the treadmill, 'cuz that's what I do now...actually get on the treadmill, but my son (youngest) has already become one with the beanbag (it's the world's largest beanbag) and is playing his WWE video game in front of the tv in the excersize/game room. Normally I like to watch what I want to watch, but he's got dibs so to speak, so I let him continue as I start to run.

He ends up creating his own wrestler on the game...whom I become disturbingly attracted to. Now maybe it's the endorphins from the running or maybe it's the hormones from the "are you in menopause yet" or maybe I am just nuts. But I'm thinkin' this guy is hot.

Now I know people have been attracted to cartoons before, Jessica Rabbit comes to mind, but it got me thinking about all these virtual games and websites and I wondered how many people had an alternate life and love on the web or in games.

I'm sort of freaked out by it, but at the same time I kinda get it. No hassles, no worries, the perfect mate...sheesh, what fun would that be?

Would it be fun?

A Little Dab'll Do Ya

2009-03-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

I'm a dabbler.

I love lots of things. I don't want to necessarily learn how to do them correctly, I just wanna do them.

So I have tons of fabric swatches--sometimes I sew pillows, sometimes purses, sometimes Halloween costumes. Rarely do I use a pattern...I don't need no stinkin' pattern.

I have beads and wire and findings...and all kinds of beads and wire and findings. Sometimes I make things--earings, necklaces, wine thingies. Sometimes they even look good.

But I'm not only a dabbler in "crafts" I'm also a dabbler in knowledge. I don't want to be an expert on anything, I just want to be able to talk about anything. I had a social studies teacher in 11th grade who would give us "cocktail party" facts, little nuggets of obscure knowledge...I would eat those facts up like finger food. I still can spit out a few, even if we are bereft of cocktail parties these days--although Michelle Buonfiglio and I could make any school function a cocktail party, no we didn't carry flasks, we just made it be about chatting and mingling.

But I digress.

I love knowing a little bit about a lot of things, you'd think it would be frustrating, but it's not--it's comforting to know I could, at the very least, interject some little gem into any conversation.

Would you rather be an expert on one thing--or a dabbler about lots of things?

No, Really, This Time I Will

2009-03-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

So I bought a shiny new book--Book In A Month--by, Victoria Lynn Schmidt, Ph.D. I'm hoping the Ph.D. does the trick. Now see, there's my problem, I know there's no trick to writing a book, no magic beans, no fairy godwriter. It's work. But that doesn't stop me from searching for the elusive trick.

What I'm hoping for is that I'll use this book like a class, with a class schedule and class assignments...I figure, what have I got to lose? A month? I lose those constantly, all the time, like every year. Plus I signed up to write a little article on a craft book for the August issue of our local RWA chapter's newsletter and I chose this book.

Kinda backed myself into a corner with that one.

So this is the first day of class--I realize I should start at the beginning of a month but...I don't want to. So it's today--week one. I'll give an update every week (another way to make me do it)let you know what I think.

Stupid or what?

Schlepping to Creativity

2009-03-13T21:58:00.000-07:00

I feel as if my brain has been dipped in molasses and then dredged through flour and then stuffed back into my skull.

Not pretty, not pretty at all.

I have a rough draft done of a contemporary--very rough. Unfortunately there were "problems." Like the hero was not acting heroic, and I'm not just talking about being a big bad alpha bastard, I mean he had a bad goal. Badbad goal. So I had to re-work that...then I pretty much had to re-work everything else.

But not on the computer--I can't. That's where I'm stuck. I can write on the yellow legal pads and the 3x5 cards, I can even write on napkins, but set me down in front of my laptop with my manuscript open, well, I can't do it. And the stupid thing is, I know the more I say, "I can't do it," the more I'll believe it.

D'oh!

So, I like him with a good clean heroic goal--but what if I could have redeemed him even with the bad stuff, would that solve my problems? Or, do I just need to quit whining and get my butt in front of the laptop with the manuscript open and the cursor blinking?

I'm not here, I'm there...

2009-03-12T21:42:00.000-07:00

I'm at Riding With The Top Down today, join me for feng shui fun and a prize or two.